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Showing posts from 2013

Turkey Talk

       Thanksgiving is hands down my favorite holiday.  I have wonderful memories of Thanksgivings past and enjoy celebrating old traditions and creating new ones. Yesterday I was listening to talk radio and listeners were calling in sharing their Thanksgiving disasters.  Some were just plain funny while others were a bit awkward.  Every year I can't help but reflect on a Thanksgiving when I was a kid which could probably qualify as a disaster.  The week of Thanksgiving my entire family caught the flu.  One by one we were taken down for the count and the plans for our yearly Thanksgiving dinner with our relatives out of town went down as well.  We began recovering as the big day approached with a faint glimmer of hope that we might not have to cancel our travel plans.  But alas, we were still too weak and tired to travel.   So our Thanksgiving meal was lunch at the luncheon counter at Walgreens in Pine Bluff.  At the time it wasn't what we expected, but looking back, I think it

My Anti-Bucket List

I recently revealed part of my bucket list.  Since then I've been thinking of things I haven't done and absolutely don't want to do...ever!  So I've come up with this "opposite of a bucket list" which I'm calling my anti-bucket list.  Not sure where I'm going with this but here we go. Things I absolutely don't want to do...EVER: 1.  Sky diving 2.  Eat an oyster 3.  Cliff Diving 4.  Ultimate fighting 5.  Wrestle a bear 6.  Pick up a live snake   (I don't care how little it is or if it's not poisonous...a snake is a snake is a     snake) 7.  Run a marathon   (The only time I run is if the "Hot and Fresh Now" light is on at Krispy Kreme) 8.  Ride a camel 9.  Milk a goat 10.  Ride the Himalayan again at the fair (been there, done that, threw up) 11.  Introduce a bill in congress 12.  Take the S.A.T. 13.  Get a tattoo ( unless it's a barbwire tattoo on my guns) 14.  Get something pierced ( if God had wanted me to h

Jet Packs

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     As a kid I was fascinated with science fiction and loved those old black and white movies on television that played on Saturday afternoons. The flying saucers and ray guns captured my imagination yet made me a little uneasy thinking "what if?"  But the uneasiness (is that a word?) was replaced with excitement and anticipation as I watched my favorite cartoon, the Jetsons, each week. The flying cars and moving sidewalks were cool but didn't begin to compare with George Jetson's jet pack that allowed him to fly anywhere he wanted. I dreamed of being able to fly, and had even tried many times unsuccessfully in my Superman costume. But a jetpack made sense! The 21st century couldn't come soon enough but seemed so far away. Sometime around the third grade I figured out that when the year 2000 dawned I would be an old man of 42. If jetpacks were a reality in the new millennium, it would be helpful to me since I would probably be having a hard time getting a

Bucket List

During the past year I have marked a few things off my bucket list.  But there are still several things left.  While these may seem unusual and random to others, they are perfectly normal in my mind. My remaining bucket list items: 1.  Attend an NCAA final four. 2.  Attend the College World Series. 3.  Learn to tap dance. 4.  Hold a monkey. 5.  Go to the Caribbean. 6.  Explore the underground tunnels beneath Walt Disney World. 7.  Attend a Sugar Bowl game. 8.  Attend a College Football Championship game. 9.  See the Amazon and the rainforest. 10. Fly using a jetpack. 11. Play with a penguin. 12. Attend a worship service at the Brooklyn Tabernacle. 13. Kick a field goal. 14. Write a book. 15. Pet an otter. 16. Spend the night in the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse. 17. Win big at a slot machine (although I've never played one and because of my position most likely never will) 18.  Be a zookeeper or a dolphin trainer for a day. 19. See a footba

Cats and Dogs I Have Known - Part 2

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DOGS      It's every child's dream to have a pet.  We've all told our parents that we'd be responsible.  I'll feed him everyday.  I'll clean up after him.  You won't have to do a thing.  Yeah....I said it.  My children said it.  I knew better.  As I mentioned in part one of this series, I was a cat person and not a fan of dogs.  I blame my wife for most of our dog trials.  The first dog belonged to Payne and came home with him from a preschool field trip to Sunshine Farms (which she chaperoned).  He named this St. Benard mixed mutt, Gladys, after Gladys Herdmann in "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever".  A few weeks later I was on my way home to Columbus from Chattanooga when I received a phone call from Sue about a birthday party the kids were at where they had puppies and naturally they had to bring one home.  So Sassy entered the picture and just like that we had two dogs.  But it wasn't too long until the adorable puppies became big dogs who c

Cats and Dogs I Have Known Part I

PART ONE - CATS      I was raised a cat person.  I was not fond of dogs except for a couple of animated ones , namely Snoopy, Underdog, and Deputy Dawg.   (I weep over a generation that's never heard of Deputy Dawg).   The best Underdog episode ever was the Thanksgiving one where someone went back in a time machine and changed the events of the first Thanksgiving so that it never happened.  Suddenly all of the floats in the Macy's Thanksgiving parade began to disappear until Underdog saved the day (how I can remember those details but can't remember what time my haircut is tomorrow I'll never know).  But I digress.      My first cat was a Siamese named Simon.   He was a great cat as far as cats go. I can't remember what grade I was in when we got him (yet I can remember what Santa brought me every year...see previous post) but it was in elementary school somewhere around 4th grade.   But alas he ran off and never came back.  For 20 years I held out hope he'd
The Joys of Aging Gracefully          It's been 4 months since my last posting, but one of my New Year's resolutions has been to be more consistent in my blogging, since some of my Twitter followers have called on me to blog more.  I am flattered that there are 2 people out there who are actually interested in what is going on in this head of mine.      I turned 55 in December and am grateful that 55 is the new 45.  There are all kinds of challenges turning 55, from aching body parts to wandering around the Wal Mart parking lot trying to remember where I parked my car.  To not be able to remember simple things such as where I parked my car, or my department's copy machine code is an enigma to me.  Simple, everyday things I should remember are a challenge yet I have the uncanny ability to remember what I got for Christmas every year from first grade (1964) to senior year (1976).  I had the opportunity to share this knowledge with my children, Payne and Mary Paige, and Payn