Out of My Head

  THREE YEARS AGO       Early this morning about 4 o'clock our old, black Lab, Tracker, woke us up in a frenzy which about 30 minutes later we realized was due to an impending thunderstorm.  Within 30 minutes I was sleepily putting his sedatives in a strawberry pop tart (his favorite snack).  The thunder and lightning came with a fury and he paced and panted until Sue got out of bed and got on the couch before he would lay down and let the sedatives take effect.      We had an extra long winter down south and hardly any of our usual turbulent spring weather to date, although we are expecting it for the next 3 days.  Even though it's a way of life for us here in the south, today I am particularly mindful of this month and day 3 years ago.  April 15, 2011 was the day a tornado touched down in our town of Clinton, but spared the daycare where Sue worked as she watched the approaching tornado literally lift off the ground and pass ove...

       Thanksgiving is hands down my favorite holiday.  I have wonderful memories of Thanksgivings past and enjoy celebrating old traditions and creating new ones. Yesterday I was listening to talk radio and listeners were calling in sharing their Thanksgiving disasters.  Some were just plain funny while others were a bit awkward.  Every year I can't help but reflect on a Thanksgiving when I was a kid which could probably qualify as a disaster.  The week of Thanksgiving my entire family caught the flu.  One by one we were taken down for the count and the plans for our yearly Thanksgiving dinner with our relatives out of town went down as well.  We began recovering as the big day approached with a faint glimmer of hope that we might not have to cancel our travel plans.  But alas, we were still too weak and tired to travel.   So our Thanksgiving meal was lunch at the luncheon counter at Walgreens in Pine Bluff.  At the time ...

I recently revealed part of my bucket list.  Since then I've been thinking of things I haven't done and absolutely don't want to do...ever!  So I've come up with this "opposite of a bucket list" which I'm calling my anti-bucket list.  Not sure where I'm going with this but here we go. Things I absolutely don't want to do...EVER: 1.  Sky diving 2.  Eat an oyster 3.  Cliff Diving 4.  Ultimate fighting 5.  Wrestle a bear 6.  Pick up a live snake   (I don't care how little it is or if it's not poisonous...a snake is a snake is a     snake) 7.  Run a marathon   (The only time I run is if the "Hot and Fresh Now" light is on at Krispy Kreme) 8.  Ride a camel 9.  Milk a goat 10.  Ride the Himalayan again at the fair (been there, done that, threw up) 11.  Introduce a bill in congress 12.  Take the S.A.T. 13.  Get a tattoo ( unless it's a barbwire tattoo on my guns) 14.  Get s...

     As a kid I was fascinated with science fiction and loved those old black and white movies on television that played on Saturday afternoons. The flying saucers and ray guns captured my imagination yet made me a little uneasy thinking "what if?"  But the uneasiness (is that a word?) was replaced with excitement and anticipation as I watched my favorite cartoon, the Jetsons, each week. The flying cars and moving sidewalks were cool but didn't begin to compare with George Jetson's jet pack that allowed him to fly anywhere he wanted. I dreamed of being able to fly, and had even tried many times unsuccessfully in my Superman costume. But a jetpack made sense! The 21st century couldn't come soon enough but seemed so far away. Sometime around the third grade I figured out that when the year 2000 dawned I would be an old man of 42. If jetpacks were a reality in the new millennium, it would be helpful to me since I would probably be having a hard time getting a...

During the past year I have marked a few things off my bucket list.  But there are still several things left.  While these may seem unusual and random to others, they are perfectly normal in my mind. My remaining bucket list items: 1.  Attend an NCAA final four. 2.  Attend the College World Series. 3.  Learn to tap dance. 4.  Hold a monkey. 5.  Go to the Caribbean. 6.  Explore the underground tunnels beneath Walt Disney World. 7.  Attend a Sugar Bowl game. 8.  Attend a College Football Championship game. 9.  See the Amazon and the rainforest. 10. Fly using a jetpack. 11. Play with a penguin. 12. Attend a worship service at the Brooklyn Tabernacle. 13. Kick a field goal. 14. Write a book. 15. Pet an otter. 16. Spend the night in the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse. 17. Win big at a slot machine (although I've never played one and because of my position most likely never will) 18.  Be a ...

DOGS      It's every child's dream to have a pet.  We've all told our parents that we'd be responsible.  I'll feed him everyday.  I'll clean up after him.  You won't have to do a thing.  Yeah....I said it.  My children said it.  I knew better.  As I mentioned in part one of this series, I was a cat person and not a fan of dogs.  I blame my wife for most of our dog trials.  The first dog belonged to Payne and came home with him from a preschool field trip to Sunshine Farms (which she chaperoned).  He named this St. Benard mixed mutt, Gladys, after Gladys Herdmann in "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever".  A few weeks later I was on my way home to Columbus from Chattanooga when I received a phone call from Sue about a birthday party the kids were at where they had puppies and naturally they had to bring one home.  So Sassy entered the picture and just like that we had two dogs.  But it wasn't too long until ...